Thursday, May 31, 2007

Old habits Die Hard

This morning, when I was walking to work, and as usual, there were plenty of people distributing fliers around the exit of the train station. I seldom have the want to receive any of those fliers, so I have this habit of making the gesture to refuse the offer of fliers. Then, this morning, there is a lady distributing fliers for post-graduates, and somehow, my reflexes works faster than my brain, and showed her the hand. After seconds of walking away, my brain started to recall what I saw on the flier, something about going for Masters and such, and I was interested at getting it, but I am already far away from the lady. So, with me being too lazy to bother, I continue walking to my office. Guessed I could have just take it and throw it away instead if I don't want it next time. Like I said, old habits die hard......

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Milk as Laxative

I am not too sure why, but whenever I drink milk before I sleep, I get a tummy ache the next morning. I was trying to prove my theory, so I took more milk, and there were more excretions the next morning. Usually, I don't get the urge to shit until 10 AM, but when I started drinking milk before I sleep, I would need to use the toilet when I wake up the next day. Weird, but I never know myself for being lactose-intolerant before, and I don't think it's lactose-intolerance. Hmm... time for more experiments.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Tug O' War

I had this little theory brewed up yesterday night. I remember playing tug of war, where some of the senior members in my team told me not to put in 100% of force at the start, because you might lose vigour by mid-game. Then remember to pull, and release very little, just enough to rest your arm, but not enough for the opposing team to gain advantage, then pull again right after. When gaining the upper hand, pour everything out and drag them in, then victory is assured. It works quite similar with fishing. Then I figured, could this work in courtship? Let me explain:

- Never put 100% in the beginning: Try to keep the surprises for last. Keep them in the dark about how good you are. Just let them see a hint of your charms.
- Tugging: Don't know why, but people always seem to think that the grass is always greener on the other side of the hill. Show them what you've got, then lay low for a moment, then show them again. Showing them gives them hope, and hiding it for a moment makes them want more. Give it to them again and make them happy.
- Going all out: Go in for the kill, enough said. I am not talking about sex, just sweeping her off her feet.

Maybe I need a good smack in the head, maybe I don't. But I am only one person, and I practically have zero experience in courtship. Care to lend a hand? A few comments would be appreciated.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Multiply

"Multiply with Intel", "Multiply All You Can Do". These are some of the quotes used in the Intel Core 2 Duo Processor ads. I guess you should have guessed what's on my mind now, no? I won't deny the fact that I am as hot-blooded as any of the rest of the males in the world, so allow me to explain. When do humans "multiply", exactly? Does the word "reproduction" or "sex" comes to mind? I am not saying that I get aroused looking at Intel advertisements, please, I don't even think there is a name for people having sexual tendencies towards processors, but it sure gives me the wrong idea. Maybe it's just me, or is there anyone out there that has the same idea as me? Come on, give me a few hands, or comments in this case.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Arr! Pirates

I've just watched Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End yesterday, and found it quite entertaining, but there are a few scenes that seem to drag. Seeing Jack back to his antics was more than enough a reason to watch any other Pirates sequel or prequel, and the third installment wasn't disappointing, to say the least. There is one thing that came to mind when watching Pirates 3. Mythology. Yes, mythology. A lot of critics want logical plot in movies, but I don't care what they think. Mythology is the furthest thing from logic, and I like it very much. If anyone of you readers out there know mythology, you might guessed what's on my mind. It's like telling a tale of Sindbad and his voyages, but with a lot more colorful characters in it. If you want explanations to the Pirates plot, then I would really suggest looking somewhere else, or maybe in the next installment of the Pirates series. Pirates is for those that don't take plot and character development seriously into account and would like more to see how the story unfolds itself. You may wonder why are all the characters included, but it doesn't really matter in the end, when Jack's back to his old glory. If people expect movies to explain everything else, I guess they might be better off with documentaries. Bottomline: Just go watch it, and look at the monkey go. ROFL!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Ladies First

In the office building I work in, there is this policy that every tenant must have a card to be allowed access and egress to/from the building. So whenever it's after working hours, where everyone was rushing home, the card reading machine would be crowded with anxious people wanting to go home. So there is this one instance where I was walking in parallel with an anonymous lady. Stepping in front of the card reading machine together, I quickly step aside, and allow her to go first. I said "You first" in response, and watch her go before I follow behind. I had this question in my mind right after, "Why didn't I said 'Ladies first' instead?". Turning my head back as I walk out of the building, I saw a whole line of female staffs waiting to get out, so I chuckled to myself.

Seems that my sub-conscious mind told me to say "You first" instead of "Ladies first", because if I did, I would have to let the rest of the ladies behind me use the card reading machine first. I love the way my mind thinks. Kudos to layman's wisdom!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Insistence

As the male creature of the human species, I try to exercise my gentlemanliness(Yes, I am surprised too, that this word exists). Seeing a middle aged lady in the train having no place to lean against(she was standing, train was packed), and is standing right in front of me, so I offered to switch places with her, since I was leaning against the metallic wall.

She rejected my offer, and thanked me, so I nodded my head in response. Then there was this one minute pondering, about what had just happened. Seems like I need to improve on my gentlemanliness more. I could have insisted and give way to the lady, then only I could accept her thanks properly. Shrugging in my mind, I guess people are trying to be polite while I was being ignorant. Or was I? I would never know, but the next time I try to be kind, I need to insist that they accept it, unless they really don't want it. But then, I put myself in the lady's shoes (Not that I can really fit in them), and I would have accepted my offer anytime, without hesitation. I guess that's what held me back from insisting. Still trying to get rid the me being insensitive, so I hope to see a more gentlemanly version of me in the future. Or was I being too sensitive already?

*shakes head and shrugs*

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

If I was, if I were

Like any other day in my life, I was going on my daily routine, my thought came upon an interesting question: When we want to use the "what-if" scenario on ourselves, do we use "If I was" or "If I were"? Since childhood, I was brought up to think that "I" is a singular pronoun that is followed by singular verbs, for example, "I was sleeping", or "I was lazing around". Grammatically speaking, "I were sleeping" is wrong, but I recalled instances where I heard people using "If I were..." on the television. So, like any other curious denizens of the world, I went to Google and searched "If I were". and found an interesting example:
"If I was a hopeless cad, I apologize."
"If I were a hopeless cad, I would never apologize."
http://alt-usage-english.org/excerpts/fxifiwas.html
It helped me understood better, both were correct, and the context greatly differs from each other. Laughing with myself, I begin to realize how Internet users, like us, are prone to Google for stuffs. See? Google actually became a verb in everyday sentences. Internet is blending in so seamlessly into the trend of the world, and by the time we realized it's too late, Internet has a hold over everyone.
"If I was a moron, I don't care."
"If I were a moron, I don't give a shit on what you are thinking"
XD - I am D Umbrella Moron. HAH! Who's your dummy now?

Monday, May 21, 2007

Earthquake

After the tsunami incident on 2004, I have been monitoring earthquakes ever since. I live in a country that isn't harassed by earthquakes, so the tsunami incident came like the storm, silent and deadly. No one was expecting a massive tidal wave to hit the shores, and what we could have prevented turned out ugly. People died and some still lost in sea. Somehow, I have this dark intent in me, hoping to see another earthquake, although I hate to see people die. Thus, I found out this earthquake monitor from Google. Check it out: http://www.iris.edu/seismon/. I have been watching for possible earthquakes that might be strong enough to send another tsunami our way, and found myself looking at the earthquake monitor everyday, except for weekends. Hopefully, I get to warn people before another tsunami incident wreak havoc again. I am not sure if I am a sick person, but there is a certain expectation in me that makes me want to be one of the firsts to know.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Hot Pitstops

The train saves me lots of time and money for not having to drive to work. No jams and no fuel expenses, who could complain? Then there is the saying "Good things come to an end", which rings true at times. I remember being in a train where one of its compartments is having an air conditioning failure, which means no cool air with dozens of people crammed in a train, in hot country. I happened to be in that compartment on a day to work. The heat building up was a slow process, like poison. It was until a few stops later, the people in the compartment begin to show signs of sweat. I was one of them. It's like sauna, with less heat, but many more people in it. I don't mind sweating before working. It's just the impatient people in the train that I can't stand. They have to move around, "tsk"ing around, and grumbling around like people around him/her aren't irritated by the heat as well. With a few of them doing the same thing, I keep wondering to myself, does it help? It builds more heat, and others get irritated more seeing them going on with their not-so-silent protests. Hey, it's freaking hot, we get it. Stop contributing to the heat, everyone is as hot and sweaty as you. Bloody morons, if you'd asked me.

Then there is another time where there was a power supply failure on some station, no air conditioning and only one track can be used at a time, so the train will stop after every two stops, to allow the train on the opposite track to pass, means interchanging of tracks at intervals. Each intervals would be a 30 minutes wait, so in my tiny little mind, I made calculations. The train stops after two stations, means it will stop at the 3rd station, the 6th station, and so on. My stop was the 8th station, and my heart nearly screamed with joy, since I performed this calculation on the 2nd 30-minute wait of the train. The years of hard training on Mathematics finally paid off. I finally reached my stop and wipe off the sweat from my forehead, and vowed never to enter train where the air conditioning is screwed.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

First Project

As I was enthusiastic in the first things to come, I got my first project from the company that I am working for. Being a Java Game programmer, I was thrilled by the news. But the thrill went to a downwards slope when I was briefed. I am in charge of a pornographic project. So it seems that the headquarters from a foreign country agrees that sex sells, they decided to issue a porn slide show application and so happens that I was new, and I have no projects at hand, I got the job. I am not really complaining...... much, but being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I got myself free porn. Beats doing nothing at all, so it's back to sorting the pictures out for me. *snickers*

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Crack Attack

Yes, apparently, I hurt my crack on the train today. As usual, the train I take to work everyday is packed with other passengers, so I have to stand close to the door in the train. When the train stopped at a station, someone from the inside wants to get out of the train, so with me standing between that passenger and the exit, my basic etiquette tells my brain to step away to give way. What it forgets to tell me though, was to look where I set my foot upon. Somehow, I move my foot just enough to step into the space between the train and the boarding platform, and I fell into it, leaving everything but my left leg above the train, and the instance I realized it, my crack saved my life. It was a stinging pain, but luckily, no wound. One of the passengers helped me up and I could feel the pain from the bruise I got in between my butt, more to the right side. Relieved that it could have been worse, I learned a painful lesson: your crack isn't supposed to break your fall.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Choices

The dreaded question. A or B? Or C or D? Life is full of choices, and decisions might very well affect the future. There is a certain saying commonly used in Star Wars: Knights of The Old Republic 2, a game from Lucasarts and Obsidian Studios: "The choices we make sends ripples through the Force, regardless of how insignificant they seemed to be". You will never know what will happen if you have made another choice. If only life has the option to load and save, and everyone gets to see how their choices branch out. Ironically, if we give everyone the ability to do so, consequences wouldn't bring much of an impact to the human being. Everyone would just load/save the world into chaos. But then, the choices in life aren't as linear as those in the games. It can range from a simple choice of choosing the pattern for the new curtain, to whose life to save first in an emergency. It's amazing how life turns out to be, everything we do can affect us and everyone around us.

Sometimes, we even make choices when we wouldn't realize it. Life is both beautiful and brutal at the same time, it just depends how you look at it. Me, I have no problem dealing with them at all: I throw them back. XD

Don't hesitate before choices, don't linger after them. Don't be quick to accept, and don't be harsh to judge. Move away or move along, but always get a move on. Moderation is key, so go figure! XD

About The Site

It's a blog, or more professionally, a weblog. What else did you expect?

*laughing cynically*

Ok, sorry for the lame joke. This is my place to type out to my heart's content, metaphorically speaking of course. Most of my articles will be on my thoughts, and maybe on games that I played before. I will try not to involve politics or any sensitive topics, but there won't be guarantees. If you have read the section on my profile, you should have guessed why would I want a blog. I like to crap, a lot, so this is the place to do that, since I don't talk too much around people. There's another reason too, to be honest. I would love the extra income it generates, if possible. Regardless of how little the amount, it's still killing two birds with a stone, so it wouldn't hurt to try. Hopefully, my articles are an entertaining read, as such is the tiny little intention that emerges whenever I post articles. Any constructive feedbacks are welcomed, and I would want to thank those that take their time to go through my blog. The frequency of new articles would be quite random, but I will make sure there is a new article every week, so please be patient.

Why D Umbrella Man? It's pretty simple actually. I walk home most of the time, and because my driving suffers from my bad sense of direction, so I always carry an umbrella with me whenever I am out of the house. A dude that carries an umbrella, hence, "Umbrella Man". I googled for "Umbrella Man" and found out that it has something to do with the John F. Kennedy assassination. This site has nothing to do with that. Absolutely nothing at all. "The Umbrella Man" sound too typical, so I used "D Umbrella Man" instead, since you will need to pronounce "The" as "D" when it goes in front of vowels. Then there is also the influence of the Anime/Manga titled "D Grey Man", even though I never watched it before, I've heard of it. I know it's obvious when you put all of the words together, you spell "Dumb" right away, but I don't really care about that. If you have any inquires, please contact me through my e-mail, and I will reply as appropriate.

About The Author

Typical Details about me (There might be more, not about to list all of them out.):

Name: Classified
Date of Birth: 17th of December, 1985
Gender: Male
Religion: Doesn't really have one, a free thinker, but not an atheist
Race: Does it matter?
Location: Take a guess :)

Education: Got myself a degree in Software Engineering
Occupation: Programmer

Hobbies and Interests: Games, any games, computer games, board games, card games, anything.
Favourite Read: Almost anything but currents issues in the newspapers, sword and sorcery themed books, strategy guides, game reviews, and parodies.
Favourite Shows: Most sitcoms, Documentaries, most of the movies that didn't made it into the oscar nomination and aren't lousy ones, animations, and none of the horror flicks.
Favorite Music: In-game music, J-Pop, cartoon music, Anime music, and a few of the oldies.

Contact me at: dumbrellaman_at_gmail_dot_com


About me:
I am an easy person to describe. Your typical next-door neighbour kind of guy.

*awkward silence*

Ok, there may be more to me than there is, but~ being in first person perspective, I can only give you what I think about myself. I am a goody-two-shoes, for most of the time. *laughs gleefully*

*awkward silence again*

(-_-")

Technically speaking, I have different personalities when dealing with people in different social group, but one thing remains. I am a happy-go-lucky person......well, sort of anyway. I can be carefree at one moment, then dark and brooding at another. My mood doesn't switch in an instant though. It would be quite scary, if I did.

When in range of friends, albeit more than acquaintances, and relatives, I laugh and smile all the time, provided that they didn't awaken the inner demon in me, which is something quite hard to achieve. I don't get angry as often as I do with this particular social group when compared to with siblings, both male and female.

I do enjoy all sorts of conversations. I like hearing people talk, and me listening. There is so much to learn from their rant, banter, chat, or any of the like. When you begin to listen, you will start see the world in colours. The tiny bits and pieces of information begin to form around you, shaping themselves into puzzle pieces that click together to create what we call reality, or life as it is. Communication is an art, which I would like to believe, and I definitely need to better my speech. I can speak in Chinese much better than I can speak in English, and I have the tendency to crap a lot.

Then, there is me among my family. I am the eldest son, so there are responsibilities, but I seldom take them seriously; A bad thing to begin with, but I managed well so far. I have semi-authoritative power over my siblings, but then, I only make them do menial tasks for me, nothing more than "Grab a bowl for me" or "Bring me food" and the like. The only people I shout at are my siblings, but it doesn't mean I always do that. I am happy that everyone is close enough to each other in my family, so there won't be any complaints. I talk a lot more with my family than with others, so I am the noisiest one around, and I get a lot of feedback as well.

Finally, there is this last group that I would call the "void". This group are those that we call strangers, males and females alike. I am extremely shy around them, especially the females. I have problems talking to girls that I don't know, and guys, of course. The only time where I would actively speak to them is when I need them out of the way. Don't get me wrong, it's those instances where you would say "Excuse Me" to let them know that they are blocking your path. In parties, or social gatherings, I would be a wallflower most of the time. Unless it's a close friends gathering, for most of the time, I would just do the "sit back" part and the rest of the people do the "enjoy" part.

Well, enough about that. Lets talk about my character. I have very low self determination, so you can call me the LSD dude, LMAO! Ok, and I am very lazy too, which chains to my everything in me. My initiative is super low, which in the long term, affected my short term memory. I have problem remembering stuffs, and will eventually forget them if I don't do them right away. Some don't even last that long. Ever tried forgetting what to say when you want to say it? It happens to me...lots. I don't have much commitment...yet, so I appreaciate the life that I am having now, a lot, and savouring it while it lasts.

Alright, time to end this. I would want to thank those that read my long essay about me right up to this point. There is so much more about me and I think I have bragged enough of it, so if you are interested in getting to know me more, give me an e-mail and I would try my best to give you a reply, satisfaction not guaranteed. Hey, it's literally impossible to make evryone happy, so it's give and take. Remember that I am in fact a LSD dude (I just love to use that...), so less expectations, more get on with life. LOL. Cheers!

P.S. I absolutely love to play games, computer games above all else.

Monday, May 14, 2007

My First Article

There's always a first in everything, but then, does it matter? Now, since this is my first article on the Internet, let's talk about "first"s, and its significance. Who doesn't remember their first victory? I certainly don't. LMAO! Ever remember the first time you manage to turn yourself over as a baby? I don't know anyone who does. It seems that our animal instincts died away as our brains are filled with the rest of the world (Please don't tell me humans aren't animals. Pointless debate. Do take note that there is a difference between animals and beasts).

Are we much happier when we were a child? Of course! At least in my opinion. I don't really think a baby wants a Nintendo DS, or a Sony Playstation 3. All he / she needs is food, and guardianship. Who'd ever know that this child would soon grow up into a spoiled brat or a wonder kid? Parental guidance is what forms the basis of our would-be future. Many of our child's "first"s would be monitored, and assessed by parents. Remember, children are NOT our burden, they are our future.

Then there are first failures. There won't be victory without failure. A person that never fails, never succeeds, in a sense of saying. Admitting failure and emerging victorious from it is so much more meaningful than instant victory. I am not saying that instant victory is bad, it's just without having to meet failure in the face before, it's would be disastrous for a person to be defeated when he/she had won so many times before.

Both victory and failure has it's importance, pride and humility are as important as to each other. Too much pride, you fall, too humble a person, you become ignorant. I used to fail in my arts, but I can now draw better than all of my siblings. I used to fail my physical tests, now I have more stamina and strength than all my siblings. But then, I am not comparing myself with those that are good, and older than me, so I can't say much. At least I am still better than my siblings. ROFLMAO!!!

Who could ever forget their first love? Even though I have none... Anyway, that wonderful feeling of the heart fluttering, skipping a few beats when you are near those you cherished. Those are the playings of hormones that does wonders to your groin. Ok... Forget the latter part of the phrase, but it is becuase of them, you feel for once the happiest man/woman alive, that is until you got married for 10 years... But then, not many couples have a successful marriage, do they? It takes so much to keep him and her happy, sometimes, people seem to take things for granted and ruin everything. I have always dreamt of a wonderful marriage, but how can I do that without even having a girlfriend? I have a sad, sad love-life....... Come to think of it, I have none. Ok, time out, I am going to stop complaining about what I don't have.

Now let's go to our first wish coming true. Having a computer could very well be one of the best things that ever happened to me. Games was so much fun when it's so interactive. I remember my first computer game being Pac-Man (No, I have not been to the arcade before when I was young. Thank you). Being a kid as I once was, Pac-Man influenced me to eat whatever food that is being place in my plate, and resulted in the increase of my size...... Then around 6 years later, I got another computer, I started playing games like Diablo 2, and the like, and got myself hooked onto playing games. Good thing that my parents restrained my playing time. If not, I would not be where I am now. I would like to thank the gaming industry, and my family for being so active and well alive after so many years, and many more years to pass. It has been more than 6 years now, and I plan to get another new PC, but I will need to save on the expenses, so hopefully, I can get myself one by Christmas.

Technically speaking, I am not really talking about "first"s, but more on it's significance. Without the head start, I would never have crapped so much. So since I am very new to the blogging community, hopefuly, I get to read comments for my posts for days to come. I am still young, and there are so many more "first"s to come for me. I wish everyone well, and hope that I can include more humour into my articles next time. I don't really have much of them anyway......